Square Pegs Don’t Fit Into Round holes

It’s Wednesday, a hot Wednesday here in Maine.  We have been in the house all morning and I’m getting restless.  I have days when I just don’t want to stay home, I want to get out into the world and discover new things or explore places I’ve been to many times.  These days just sort of pop up and usually I don’t have any prior warning that they are going to happen.  Another thing that normally happens on these days is The Little Girl wants to stay home.  Some times I go on an adventure and other days, like today, I just stay home and enjoy being there with her.  With it being so warm today I didn’t mind not going on an adventure.

Staying home gave me time to think about some things that have been on my mind for a while now.  Beginning with whether or not we can afford for me to continue to stay home and home school The Little Girl.  It is such a hard decision at this point.  I had made up my mind to go for it and then, you know, that thing called life seems to be butting in to the plan.  It seems that this economy has hit our one income household pretty hard, with gas prices, food prices of a Little Girl on a special diet, heating fuel prices, and the fact that The Dad hasn’t had any overtime in months, or travelled for work.  Unfortunately, we need for him to travel or work overtime to pay the bills at this point.  I am so torn on this.  I know that she would be better off staying home with me and learning at her own pace, but then I think of sending her to school, so that I could work and help The Dad be able to spend more time home with us and support our family financially.

The reasons we chose to home school are abundant. The Little Girl is un(officially)diagnosed ADHD, she was seen by a psychologist at almost 5 and he told us that there is a strong indication that she has it, but wasn’t going to diagnose her at that time.  The Dad has had it since childhood and so do his other children.  So, this is something I have just known and have accepted it for what it is.  I’ve researched and learned a lot about ADHD, and so has The Dad since having The Little Girl. She is a very active child and doesn’t sit still for very long, that would be the “H” in ADHD. Public school is pretty big on kids sitting for hours, not a good thing for a Little Girl who can do it for more than a few minutes at a time.

Our Little Girl is also very bright. The Psychologist said she was very precocious.  She is reading at a 1st grade level and isn’t even in kindergarten yet.  I’m not saying I think she is gifted, just that she is above average in reading and below average in other subjects. How does a public school fit a child like this into a class of 20 students?  I will be having her screened for kindergarten this summer whether she is going to go to public school or not, just so I can find out where she is educationally.  She has mild fine motor delay and sensory issues as well.  So, her grasp on a writing utensil is horrible and her trunk strength is lacking.  The Little Girl goes to Occupational Therapy once a week to work on these things.  These are other reasons we have chosen to home school. I think that she could work at her own pace in the different subjects, some ahead and some behind her public school peers, if we homeschooled.

I know many families home school for religious reasons, and I do to some extent, as well, but it’s not my main reason.  I need to get my head around that part better than I have it now.  I want for our family to have a relationship with God, but as of yet we haven’t looked for a church to fit our family.  I feel led to home school The Little Girl, and truly think it is what would be best for us, but there is a part of me that feels compelled to work, somehow, to help out The Dad with supporting our family.

The Dad went through school having ADHD and being treated horribly because of behaviors that he couldn’t help.  His having these memories of school and having had the love of learning beat out of him makes him want something different for his Little Girl.  He is afraid of her being labeled as a behavior problem, when she is simply an out of the box thinker.  Many of the men and women who have done great things in the world have been out of the box thinkers with ADD.  Why should we try to contain these children’s natural ability just to fit them nicely into a round hole when they are indeed a square peg?  It’s these square pegs that are going to change the world, give them the resources to make their dreams and wishes come true.

If anyone has any suggestions in this situation please bring them to me. I could use as many thoughts on this dilemma as I can get.  I will be taking it to God again and praying on it until the right answer comes to me.

Thank you and God Bless!


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